


Is the wizarding world real?

by talesoftime



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Author loves to chat in the Comments, Canon Relationships, Conspiracy, Gen, Humor, I'm Bad At Tagging, I'm such a weirdo, Not Harry Potter and the Cursed Child Compliant, Rants, Rita skeeter is evil!, The Author Regrets Everything, The Author Regrets Nothing, Wizarding World, internet is awesome, the wizarding world is real
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-29
Updated: 2018-01-29
Packaged: 2019-03-11 02:12:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 783
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13514586
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/talesoftime/pseuds/talesoftime
Summary: As I was scrolling through the internet ( yes, I, a witch, who had taken muggle studies and saw the beautiful wondrous marvel that is the internet), I saw a question that had me burning with frustration.What was the question, you may ask?" Is the wizarding World Real?"Well, here is my answer to it!(or in which a rant is ensued, rita skeeter is exposed, harry potter is an embarrassing father, and you are a disappointing muggle)





	Is the wizarding world real?

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I would rather not do this, but it al belongs to JK Rowling ( HA! what a joke, the truth belongs to no one) and none of the characters are mine.

All right, look here, muggle, I don’t want to break the bloody INTERNATIONAL statute of secrecy, but your ignorance is far too appalling for me.

 

 Who do you think had written the series hmmm? And with such dissection, almost as if truly exists?? Wow, that must a heck of an author, she created an entire world with no flaws whatsoever! OR, or, we could come to the more reasonable conclusion:

 

**SHE IS NO MUGGLE, in fact, she is RITA SKEETER!** (must be a surprise for you, huh? )

 

She is rita skeeter, that infamous reporter who used to publish on that rubbish daily prophet. (like honestly, who reads that rag these days? The Quibbler is so much better, though I must confess that their speculations on creatures such as nargles are probably not true). She had left our part of the world to yours, because no one would read her works, and offered her employment, as well as the fact that the WHOLE wizarding world had shunned her (which she very well deserves, mind you! Always publishing such gossip, always fake at that; My parents had always believed in the chosen one).

 

 And now, she has gone and published (yet, again!)  Several books on Harry potter, who was surprisingly being portrayed in a good and true light. Trying to claw her way back to our world, you see. 

 

Now, fools have thought her capable of such ingenuity, and it has not even passed their minds of we existing. They have published her many books, and even our textbooks (what in the name of merlin’s saggy left balls was she and they thinking when they published our magical creatures’ textbook? The other two I can fully understand, but our school’s book? Really?), and have developed them into several movies and even a play, though the play is fully untrue, let me reassure you on that. 

 

That was just Rita showing her true self, some sort of conspiracy she would have published in our world if she was still a part of it. She couldn’t possibly know what’s going on, what with her never (unofficially) allowed to come back to our world. Such utter rubbish, what a sack of dragon dung (!) Was that play. Nothing like that had ever happened, of course. Yes, Albus potter had been sorted to Slytherin, but no one ever accused Scorpius of being VOLDEMORT’S CHILD!! NOR EVER DID VOLDEMORT HAVE A CHILD! LET ME MAKE THAT VERY CLEAR, IN CASE YOU HAVE NOT SEEN IT:

 

_**VOLDEMORT DID NOT HAVE A KID!** _

 

It was mostly due to Astoria holding so many charity balls for the squibs and muggleborns, and little scorpius, from what I’ve seen, is a pretty normal kid, which is one of the only things that rita got right. And honestly, Mr. Potter is a pretty great father, what with every howler he sends a month, shouting and screaming about how much he loves his kids ( thank god my parents don’t do that, that is tooo embarrassing!)  Rita skeeter, however, does not know this, so she uses her corrupt imagination ( she might be making an effort to actually picture, and not just mock, but she has a pretty horrid way of showing it) to see what would become of our generation, which is, of course, the next generation. 

 

Now, I suppose, I have ranted enough about this, enough to make you understand , to see the world in a way that is transcendental to the way of the muggles, to the way of all those that refuse to believe in us, all of us, the creatures and veelas and werewolves ( though they are pretty popular in muggle works) and all the magical beings. 

 

 

 Perhaps, perhaps you have learned from this, and have become of us, and the foul thing that rita is ( but with surprisingly truthful books, at first!), or perhaps, and this seems much more common with you muggle folks, that What I am saying is just a lie and this is a work of fiction. You may just be proving Stan shunpike's saying right “Muggles ‘Don’ listen properly, do they? Don’ look properly either. Never notice nuffink, they don’.” ( for the sake of Merlin, please don't. I never truly believed in it, and I don't want you to be proving me right!)

 

 

Believe what you may, but ask you this: Of all the oddities and bizarre things you have seen, heard, or read, do you believe that each of them, EACH of them, are a lie? If you do, you must really be a stubborn ignorant fool. But if you don’t, well, perhaps you are the proof that aware is a word that can be indeed applied to muggles. 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Author: This author has three things that she loves, two of which is comments and kudos. The other thing is pizza. If you have any of these to spare, please provide me with it!!
> 
> P.S. this was all true, let me tell you that, though.
> 
> P.P.S. ( a little extra. This came to me in a dream)
> 
> Well, are you convinced yet? I suppose this is a hard thing to wra--
> 
> Oh god the ministry's obliviators have tracked this! RUn now, run, leave this site and delete your history, do not lose your memory!! 
> 
> BE the good muggle, not the bad muggle. What are they, you may ask? Well, I have put up some examples!
> 
> Good Muggle: Oh, this witch is obviously telling the truth, and I must do as she says! (doesn't get memories taken)
> 
> Bad Muggle: This is such sh*tty joke LOLOLOLO--(obliviated) .....whaaaa 's goin' on???


End file.
